Episode 34 · 2020-08-29 · 52:58 · Original in Finnish
Hostage negotiation and pressure | Helena Åhman | Negotiator 34
Originally published as “Panttivankineuvottelut | Helena Åhman | Neuvottelija 34”
Helena Åhman explains how the methods of hostage negotiators transfer to the executive team and to difficult conversations at work. The conversation covers the difference between George Kohlrieser's and Chris Voss's schools and what they share — situational awareness — probing values and identity before reaching for solutions, the alpha–beta–gamma roles inside a negotiating team and the amateur mistake of not using them, regulating your own state under pressure through breathing, and building an emotional bond in spite of friction.
Watch and listen
Key moments
- 00:00 — Kohlrieser, Voss and the hostage negotiation tradition
- 02:30 — The route into negotiation via leadership development at Nokia
- 05:00 — The yes and no schools and what they have in common
- 07:30 — Why no technique works every time
- 10:00 — Probing values and identity
- 12:30 — Don't reach for the solution first — widen the conversation
- 15:00 — What is actually learned from professional negotiators
- 17:30 — Alpha, beta and gamma: roles inside a negotiating team
- 20:00 — Defensive reactions and directness delivered through empathy
- 22:30 — The agenda as an instrument of influence
- 25:00 — Regulating your own state under pressure
- 27:30 — Breathing as the first sign of stress
- 30:00 — A break, a glass of water and lessons from improv
- 32:30 — Exposing yourself to pressure and releasing it deliberately
- 35:00 — Building an emotional bond in spite of friction
- 37:30 — The illusion of competence and Dunning–Kruger
- 40:00 — Books, the channel and viewer questions
- 42:30 — Mediators, therapy and borrowed methods
- 45:00 — Dialogue: getting on the same side
- 47:30 — The Alexander technique and synchronising breath
- 50:00 — Cognitive and perceptual errors — why teams help
- 52:30 — Closing
Summary
Helena Åhman explains how the methods of hostage negotiators transfer to the executive team and to difficult conversations at work. The conversation covers the difference between George Kohlrieser’s and Chris Voss’s schools and what they share — situational awareness — probing values and identity before reaching for solutions, the alpha–beta–gamma roles inside a negotiating team and the amateur mistake of not using them, regulating your own state under pressure through breathing, and building an emotional bond in spite of friction.
Chapters
- 00:00 — Kohlrieser, Voss and the hostage negotiation tradition
- 02:30 — The route into negotiation via leadership development at Nokia
- 05:00 — The yes and no schools and what they have in common
- 07:30 — Why no technique works every time
- 10:00 — Probing values and identity
- 12:30 — Don’t reach for the solution first — widen the conversation
- 15:00 — What is actually learned from professional negotiators
- 17:30 — Alpha, beta and gamma: roles inside a negotiating team
- 20:00 — Defensive reactions and directness delivered through empathy
- 22:30 — The agenda as an instrument of influence
- 25:00 — Regulating your own state under pressure
- 27:30 — Breathing as the first sign of stress
- 30:00 — A break, a glass of water and lessons from improv
- 32:30 — Exposing yourself to pressure and releasing it deliberately
- 35:00 — Building an emotional bond in spite of friction
- 37:30 — The illusion of competence and Dunning–Kruger
- 40:00 — Books, the channel and viewer questions
- 42:30 — Mediators, therapy and borrowed methods
- 45:00 — Dialogue: getting on the same side
- 47:30 — The Alexander technique and synchronising breath
- 50:00 — Cognitive and perceptual errors — why teams help
- 52:30 — Closing
Watch
The recording lives on the Neuvottelija channel: Panttivankineuvottelut | Helena Åhman | Neuvottelija 34. A Finnish edition of this episode is published at www.neuvottelija.fi.
People and topics
Guests: Helena Åhman
Topics: Negotiation